There was once a
king who had a small dick but nice smile. He wanted to have children
so they could become as ignorant he was. So many nights and years the
king and the queen had tried to make babies, but kings penis was too
small to hit the cervix and the queen could not get pregnant. Maybe
the reason was that the queen was smoking Marlboro cigarettes, or the
fact that king hold all the time laptop on his scrotch.
Both of them knew that soon the time will run out, since women could have babies for certain age. King became depressed and started drinking heavily. For his entertainment he executed some black people with big dicks, some fans of Lady Gaga and all the dictators in the middle East.
Even if King was
depressed and queen still barren, they continued to try to make the
babies. After one hot night, after sex, king went to balcony to catch
fresh air. Since he was very bored, he took LSD. LSD made him look
like Jim Morisson. He started to be with wild hair, mellow voice, and
dark poetic soul. While he was smoking a cigarette, he saw a very
bright and beautiful star falling from the sky. Soon this star turned
into beautiful woman. She had perfect buttocks and olive-skin body.
King knew that this was Sara Sampoio, first portuguese Victorian
Secret Top Model. First Sara made few runway walks with her hot
underwear, waved to the rich and famous, bold and beautiful, smiled
for the cameras and then started to speak with the King.
“ HEY,
MOTHERFUCKER! We, the divine creatures of the beauty, will never
forget how you killed those black people with big dicks and Lady Gaga
fans! We will never forgive for your egotism and Napoloen complex!
However, you will have a daugther. A daugther like a sun, burning
hot, beautiful miss!”
“ How come?”
asked the King, who was still Jim Morrison. Still on acid. Still with
mellow voice and dark poetic souls.“ `cause your queen was asking for the miracle for all those years. Otherwise we would not have answered, but we saw her suffering so much. You have not given her an orgasm for all those years! The only way she would live again, would be with a daugther!”
“ So the god will give me a daughter cause the queen asked for her?”
| "Yes! You´ll have to order the construction of 7 cities with copper walls. Your daughter will be born there, but you can not visit her for 30 years. If you do, you will be punished!“ |
The
star vanished into the sky and Sara went to New York - many thousands
years to the future to make another runway walk.
In the meantime 28
years passed, King partied, smoked some weed and did some acid. He
met Jim Morrison but never Sara Sampaio again. He became restless
since he wanted to see his daughter. He decided to call Bernardo,
his local squire, and asked him:„ Bernando dont you reckon I have suffered enough?“
„
Yes, but the people have also suffered a
lot, my lord!“
„
I dont care about my people, I care only
about myself! Do you reckon that I will die if I go there?
“ Yes, I do, my king! And then Bernando added:
„Be
patient because there are only 2 years left, you need to be kind to
the people“
For a
moment the king felt the same as Bernardo. But next day, he thought
fuck that, and wanted to go to the seven cities. When the king and
Bernardid wake up, trying to relieve their resaca with morning coffee
their horses where already ready for a long and exhaustive journey to
the seve cities lagoon.
Every
time they moved closer to the cities, the clouds cried blood, Sara
stopped her runway walks in New York, the angry sea increased its
waves and the clouds trowed lightnings. When they got near the
lagoon, the furious sea flooded the seven cities, making 9 islands.
The island where the princess lived was transformed into a lagoon
made of two parts, a green one, the color of the princess's dress,
and a blue one which was the color of the princess's shoes.
The king died and all the people in the city died, the princess
however remained forever virgin in the island, waiting for Robison
Crusoe and reading Jane Eyre´s novels.
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