There was once a king who had a small dick but nice smile. He wanted to have children so they could become as ignorant he was. So many nights and years the king and the queen had tried to make babies, but kings penis was too small to hit the cervix and the queen could not get pregnant. Maybe the reason was that the queen was smoking Marlboro cigarettes, or the fact that king hold all the time laptop on his scrotch.
Both of them knew that soon the time will run out, since women could have babies for certain age. King became depressed and started drinking heavily. For his entertainment he executed some black people with big dicks, some fans of Lady Gaga and all the dictators in the middle East.
Even if King was depressed and queen still barren, they continued to try to make the babies. After one hot night, after sex, king went to balcony to catch fresh air. Since he was very bored, he took LSD. LSD made him look like Jim Morisson. He started to be with wild hair, mellow voice, and dark poetic soul. While he was smoking a cigarette, he saw a very bright and beautiful star falling from the sky. Soon this star turned into beautiful woman. She had perfect buttocks and olive-skin body. King knew that this was Sara Sampoio, first portuguese Victorian Secret Top Model. First Sara made few runway walks with her hot underwear, waved to the rich and famous, bold and beautiful, smiled for the cameras and then started to speak with the King.
“ HEY, MOTHERFUCKER! We, the divine creatures of the beauty, will never forget how you killed those black people with big dicks and Lady Gaga fans! We will never forgive for your egotism and Napoloen complex! However, you will have a daugther. A daugther like a sun, burning hot, beautiful miss!”“ How come?” asked the King, who was still Jim Morrison. Still on acid. Still with mellow voice and dark poetic souls.
“ `cause your queen was asking for the miracle for all those years. Otherwise we would not have answered, but we saw her suffering so much. You have not given her an orgasm for all those years! The only way she would live again, would be with a daugther!”
“ So the god will give me a daughter cause the queen asked for her?”
|"Yes! You´ll have to order the construction of 7 cities with copper walls. Your daughter will be born there, but you can not visit her for 30 years. If you do, you will be punished!“|
The star vanished into the sky and Sara went to New York - many thousands years to the future to make another runway walk.In the meantime 28 years passed, King partied, smoked some weed and did some acid. He met Jim Morrison but never Sara Sampaio again. He became restless since he wanted to see his daughter. He decided to call Bernardo, his local squire, and asked him:
„ Bernando dont you reckon I have suffered enough?“
„ Yes, but the people have also suffered a lot, my lord!“
„ I dont care about my people, I care only about myself! Do you reckon that I will die if I go there?
“ Yes, I do, my king! And then Bernando added:
„Be patient because there are only 2 years left, you need to be kind to the people“
For a moment the king felt the same as Bernardo. But next day, he thought fuck that, and wanted to go to the seven cities. When the king and Bernardid wake up, trying to relieve their resaca with morning coffee their horses where already ready for a long and exhaustive journey to the seve cities lagoon.
Every time they moved closer to the cities, the clouds cried blood, Sara stopped her runway walks in New York, the angry sea increased its waves and the clouds trowed lightnings. When they got near the lagoon, the furious sea flooded the seven cities, making 9 islands. The island where the princess lived was transformed into a lagoon made of two parts, a green one, the color of the princess's dress, and a blue one which was the color of the princess's shoes. The king died and all the people in the city died, the princess however remained forever virgin in the island, waiting for Robison Crusoe and reading Jane Eyre´s novels.